3-28-11 Fate and Free Will

3-28-11 Fate and Fee Will

I've had an interesting few days all around the theme of fate, free will and fighting "the plan"..perhaps some things I learned can help you on your own paths...

Saturday morning I woke up cold, went down to living room and saw the furnace wasn't running, went down tried to get the furnace running, realized I was out of oil. How in the world I burned through $900 worth of fuel in two months I had no clue, since I keep it low and only run it half the day or less, staying away from home as much as possible. All I know is I can't afford to get more, it's electric heat from here on out! Please God bring the warm weather sooner rather than later. Then I went to meet a friend for lunch and she paid for me! I was so touched because I know her budget is really tight, but she insisted on paying so I didn't want to cause her to miss a blessing so I gratefully accepted. I found it odd how my friend who has the Mercedes and just ordered a boat ASKS me to pay for him sometimes and this friend who has so little insisted.... I did get to do a good deed for the friend though she brought some of her Spiritstones she had gotten from me plus some of her own and asked me to re-charge them with Reiki energy for her so I did. It gives me great pleasure to give this energy to others as I know what good it can do.

Saturday night I had my first ever event that I was going to earn a little per person from the Venue. I was quite pleased with the deal they gave me, food buffet, drink specials, fee admission all for one price, and so were my people and they were pleased with the 25 people I brought them. A win-win-win! I hope to keep going with this once a month and bring them an increasingly bigger crowd, he said the room holds 325--if I could fill that once a month I could pay off my credit cards in 3 years. The guy from Craig's list with the daughter never showed though and I of course spent most of the night trying to not think about Randy (the event was very near his home) I really am hoping to find a man who will share his life with me and be my mate but I know until God is ready for me to have that, fate is just going to keep shutting doors in my face. This is not because he is a cruel God but because I turned my free will over to him when I was 12 yrs old and its a contract that I re-new almost daily because I know that no matter what plans of my own I may come up with, his plan for me is better so I want to try and follow it...

I had fun though going around talking to each group of people at each table and helping them to feel comfortable and to mingle with one another. I kinda like to feel that I am sort of like fates assistant, setting up situations to help bring people who are meant to be together around each other where they can meet and mingle comfortably. I had advertised this one EVERY where and had people from several meetup groups, my facebook page, and even Biker or Not! One friend I was talking to was Dave though and I told him the guy never showed from Craigs List, and he said oh well keep looking. I then asked him are you sure it's not Randy? See Dave has some psychic abilities of this his own........but he's not always right, but sometimes he is, so you never know for sure.... But on this one he was like no no no no no he doesn't want you he's just using you. And I am sure what he picked up on was true in the moment he picked it up, but things change....Course this had been the same sentiment of my friend the day before at breakfast I might add. On the man issue I am constantly torn on the tug of my heart against the reality that I and others see. So I went home alone like I always do but didn't allow myself to be sad, knowing and being content that I am doing God's work here and if he deems me to stay single so I keep doing this work then I am just going to have to make peace with it until fate changes things....if fate changes things.....

Sunday morning I woke up and had NO plans for the day, I had prayed to God for one of my friends to call me and ask me to do something with them. That didn't happen, and I am not the type to contact people, I have a very very small pool that I feel that comfortable with calling...but anyway as I was making my bed my little voice told me to contact Mary and to take part of the money I made last night and treat her to a movie. So I texted her, but she had already seen the one movie I wanted to see, so we decided to meet for brunch instead. While at brunch she told me of some "messages" that came to her early that morning: one was I would be fully moved in and settled in my new home my late may early June, that I was to leave Randy be to sort out his stuff  and that by November we would be fully together, that there was going to be another earthquake soon, that president Obama was going to have a heart attack, that Jeremy could get diabetes in the future and we should monitor that..... I just said Hummmm. It was then she got a call cancelling her evening plans and she said oh lets go see a movie, I will even sit through the one I already saw if we cant find another.

We went and was trying to choose one, and her friend called and recommended one I had ruled out, but then I checked it out on my phone and played the trailer and so off we went to see the adjustment bureau. I know that I was meant to see that movie yesterday, it showed me what I have always felt inside and that is Randy and I belong together and fates assistants keep pointing us back together despite the fact that he and I keep putting up obstacles and road blocks out of our stubbornness and our hurts from the past. I do know if we joined our talents we could do MUCH, each of us has very strong traits and abilities the other lacks... We came out of the movie and Mary was so excited! See Cassie see I am not wrong on sending you back to Randy , I do see a vision of the two of you getting married someday... I told her how I kept denying him because he wanted a motorcycle/snowmobile riding gal..but on our first date he told me about all the signs that pointed him to me! We were just marveling about the whole movie and its message as we walked out and I checked my phone for messages..........there was a text.......it was from Randy: Im at da hook (sandy hook) it said...look I showed her! last week I was there hoping he'd show up and he headed to Vermont....go meet him she said....no I am leaving him be for now......fate will cross our paths when the time is right I am certain of it.....

I called and left a message for my son telling him I had to talk to him about his diet and risks of diabetes. Monday morning when I checked the news I saw Japan had another earthquake...........I don't know about you but I am going to listen to the signs.....

Today I want you to become more aware of what messages you are receiving and to try and follow the path that God wants you to take. Don't let fear or stubbornness put up obstacles to block you... you do have free will and you can go anywhere you want to go.....but if you listen to the angels and guides your path will be smoother and get you to the place you need to be so much sooner....... In the meantime take lessons and healing from whatever place you may be in....most importantly keep trying, you'll get it right in time.....



With Love and in the Light, Cassie

Olivia Newton John - Twist of fate

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2hawbp5XT4

(T:19:2) "Every situation, properly perceived, becomes an opportunity to heal the Son of God. And he is healed BECAUSE you offered faith to him, giving him to the Holy Spirit & releasing him from every demand your ego would make of him. Thus do you see him free, & in this vision does the Holy Spirit share. And since He shares it He has given it, & so He heals through you. It is this joining Him in a united purpose that makes this purpose real, because you make it whole." ....The "Son of God" is US (son/daughter/child & the collective whole). Everything is an opportunity to heal because Heaven/the Universe is always working in ways to show us the way home. If you step back & see everything - every trial, every hardship, every joy - as an opportunity to allow healing through your faith, then each situation you experience becomes holy & perfect. ~from A Course In Miracles~

Give up to grace. The ocean takes
care of each wave 'til it gets to shore.
You need more help than you know.Rumi

3-25-11 Lion or Lamb

3-25-11   Lion or Lamb?


This week we had  snow, which had everyone complaining and wishing the warm nice weather we recently enjoyed would come back. Reminded me of a saying my Grandma always used to say: If March comes in like a Lion it will go out like a Lamb and if it comes in like a Lamb it will go out like a Lion...which is why I always hoped for a cold snowy start to March when I was a kid...wish I had this year...LOL

Monday was an icky sort of day for me, not only had the cold weather come back to NJ but I was feeling pretty worried about my finances and don't have enough money to pay my April mortgage. I had hoped that I could start making a bit of supplemental income with my events but so far I have not been succesful with that. I had hoped a friend of mine would help me promote my groups, because she has been really good at it in the past but she decided to work with another group instead, mostly because I didn't want to change my philosophy and approach to match hers. She is a lion when it comes to this sort of thing and I am a lamb and thats just that. She said I should look for a part time job to supplement my income instead since I won't listen so I spent my free time that day looking for something I can do, so far nothing that doesn't involve a lot of standing up or lifiting and I can't do that.

Tuesday I had a phone conference with someone who runs a spirital radio show and she had seen my site Spirtual in NJ and wanted to know if I would help promote what they do and thier events. She said she saw I had a large number of people on my page and I then told her about cassiescalendar too, I told her breifly about how I had worked on this for 10 years and had real gift of building community. I also told her of the pepople I had studied with or worked with and she was quite impressed. It felt good to be admired and I felt like a lion at that moment, I even breifly mentioned the co-operative idea and that perhaps once that is launched she will have me on her show. I was suprised at my boldness but I know it must have come from the sprit inside me, for this is a good thing that needs to get out to the people. I also had been writing to a guy from CL and he said he wanted to talk so I sent him my phone number, from his pictures I got a very nice vibe and felt I could trust him. We had a very nice conversation and he said he was very intersted in meeting me, but he has custody of his 11 yr old daughter so it was going to be hard to do....I mentioned my event this coming saturday in his area and said its a family place, you could bring her..... I also got my paperwork from my income taxes from my accountant and as it turns out I am getting a bit back so I will have money for the April mortgage.....thank you God saved me again!

Wednesday was pretty un-eventful other than I found an ad on my corporate website for two free kittens so I wrote to the lady, she sent me pictures on thursday and they are really cute! Dark brown with tan markings, my friend Chris said they are called tortisshell. So I made an apointment to go meet them on saturday and I was so happy about it that I sent the pictures to Randy to get his opinion. since he is the cat expert, he said they looked very nice and to just make sure that they like people. I then was feeling bold and I suppose a bit snotty and I sent him a pic of the guy I been talking to. Justifying it to myself that the first thing he did when he found this woman he's with now was send me a picture of them on his motorcycle. I said: Look I took your advice and I met a guy what do you think? He looks kind and nice right? He replied that he looked perfect and don't screw it up! I said I won't I have changed and I like the idea of being a mom again I miss it......he never responded... Guess I was being a bit of a beast there but I felt that he deserved it, at least a little.

I was going to go check out a local yoga studio to see about having classes there for people in my group and making a small profit per person but Mary called instead and wanted to meet for dinner, I was greatful for that as I so needed to talk, it has been an emptional week for me. I also didn't have the courage to go to that place so was glad for a reason to put it off again. We talked of Randy and she said you realiz you two are just poking each other, you did to him what he did to you when you dumped him and told him to go find a woman who will ride his motorcycle so he did. Fear and stubborness, still you two are caught in that cycle...yeah I guess so I said but I am better I have evolved if he'd stop and look he'd see this. When your are down there he will she said, but it just may be too late for you are and you will be meeting new men. We both agreed though the one I am talking to now probably isnt a good match. I also talked to her about the cooperative site that I want to launch and my frustration of not being able to find a webmaster. She said she knew someone but she's a real businesswoman, she will charge you she said. I told her I would have to pray about it, I fear spending any money though when I am so broke, yet know if I buy a site then ALL the profits will be mine rather than sharing with a webmaster....Oh what to do what to do.

I also told her that I think Gus (my dead ex-husband) was around me because I smeelled the smoke he always blows in my face to get my attention. He just wont learn that I cant see or hear him like Mary and Randy can. I asked her about it and she said she thinks he finally has accpeted that I am moving out and he isn't blocking it............turns out though that there was something else he was trying to tell me.....just before noon I got a phone call from my son's friend telling me had a seizure in Shop Rite. I left work and went there so this time I could talk to the doctors and get him a psych consult. My ex had them a lot in his life so he knows and thats probably why he came, to warn me for Jeremy. Well I did get to talk to the doctors and we did get Jeremy to wait for the consult but we ened up sitting there for FOUR hours, he finally ripped out his IV and left. In retropect I wish I had roared a bit more and demanded to get him attention , they just kept saying all day that someone would come soon but no one came till shift change after 4pm. The guy was nice though gave me phone numbers and said if I could get him to come back they'd admit him..........so I took him got his smokes, took him for burgers then tried to get him to go back...no he wanted to go home so I took him home and there were like 8 guys sitting there smoking....so I sat there for an hour and got them to talk him into going back.........finally he did but when they said since he left he would have to be re-admitted he left again! Ugh! I am beat I took him home armed with all the phone numbers and such for him to call and set up an appointment, now all I can do is pray. I shoulda roared more sooner on this one......now its his fight.

Today I want you to think about each situation in your life and to pray for discernment on them, pray to be guided to know when to lay down like a lamb (for the meek shall inherit the earth) but also to know when to roar and be a lion and fight and speak and get things done. There is a right time for each.....true wisdom is knowing when..........I am still working on this one myself......all I know is tonight I a weary and drained and this lion is needs some sleep.....may we all find peace......


With Love and in the Light, Cassie

The Lion Sleeps Tonight
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3n3xDgx85jY

3-21-11 Planting Seeds of Intention

3-21-11  Planting Seeds of Intention

Over the past few days I have been doing a alot of "seed planting", hanging out, spending time in thought and setting my intentions for what I want to come and celebrating the full moon and Vernal-Spring Equinox...


Friday Jermey and his roomate came over and helped to do more work cleaning out all the crap my tennant left at his apartment. Its shameful he left that mess for us. We made a fire and was burning what we could so as to not have too huge of a pile for the township to haul away. I decided that if this was letting go time in order to bring in the new time I had to be serious so I got the plaque someone gave me for a wedding shower gift, it said Riccioni house Est 1989. I had given it to Jeremy but he didn't want it, and I knew I didnt want it, so nice as it was, I felt I needed to burn it to offer up this old home so that my new one can come. I explained to Mike (Jeremy's roomate) about the full moon ceremonies and encouraged him to give up some things and to ask for what his deepest desires were. He shared that he wished he could own his own deli someday and I told him what a wonderful idea and I will help him wish for it. The three of us had a pretty good day, and 70 sunny degrees and went for burgers and ice cream for dinner at Stewarts which was always the tradition for the first day of spring clean up. Mike's really into the idea of moving down to Keyport too but Jeremy wants to travel around a bit...

Saturday I did some cleaning and then I headed down towards the shore, was going to meet a friend for a pagan Ostara celebration but things got crossed and I just went over to the house on 2nd street to leave some SpiritStones and say some of the energy prayer. I also had my bike in my car and decided to go to Sandy Hook and ride it and I am so glad that I did. I only rode for 30 min but it's a start...the scenery was nice and the sun warmed me despite the wind chill. I took three SpiritStones and put them down in the sand near the surf....one for a new home....one for more income....one for a man to love me and share my life with. I sat then in the sand and watched them roll out further with each wave that came in. My card of the day had been SoulMate, that and the fact I was in the place Randy and I had spent so much time together last summer had him on my mind a lot. I told myself though no sneaking around this summer, I just won't put myself through that pain again. I sat and watched the wind surfers for a while in thier wet suits and wondered if Randy had used the one I got him yet, probably not been going to Vermont too much I figured.  I stopped and got shrimp and drove over and parked facing the bay and ate my dinner and didn't feel sad or lonely, just peaceful and content. I can do this I can be happy in Keyport with out Randy... I came home and was just settling in when I got a text-- Hi--it was Randy--I am driving to VT he said---I just got home from Sandy Hook I said--he asked how it was I said beautiful, sent him a pic and told him what I had for dinner-- my fave he texted---told him about the windsurfers and asked had he used his wet suit yet-- soon he replied---then: come up here tonight---- nah I can't---no reply----then I sent: check out the moon tonight and make some wishes, its a special one, stay safe on that snow mobile. Yeah he loves  VT and the snow and I love NJ and the shore.....he then sent me a pic of the moon from his truck and said I can see it now......make some wishes I told him......I told him my three wishes and he said good ones.....then I asked what he was wishing for and he said pokey (his word for sex)...that stung and I replied well you got the wife the kids the house and the pets guess pokey is all you need, I hope you get some. Goodnight. He knew not to bother me again .....

my bike and some scenery at Sandy Hook

I went up to bed and knelt and prayed, I prayed again about my money concerns and I felt him say I will get you some. I also prayed about Randy, and was upset with myself for getting upset with him again, and my quest for love in general, is it my fault? Do I push them all away with my britstles? But I felt he said no it's not you. That was the only answer I got. I went to sleep and as I was waking I kept hearing the song Sister Christian as I woke up so I got up and looked up the lyrics (see below) still trying to figure out what they mean to me now (if any of my readers have an theories and care to comment feel free).... But anyway I made it to mass and then headed over to a friends Jewelry party. On the way I was thinking how much my behind was sore from the bike ride the previous day and contemplating getting a padded seat but not knowing if I should spend the money when I saw a going out of business sale at K-mart...well I ran in there for 10 min and actually found a padded bike seat 1/2 off! I sure wished ask and you shall received worked this fast for me all the time! LOL But hey I have shopping angels and parking spot karma. Someone often pulls out right up front as I am pulling in and this always amazes my friends. LOL

So anyway the jewerly party was more fun than I expected. I don't wear jewerly and I don't really like going to those kind of parties but I love my friend Denise who was giving it and I really wanted to support her in her new venture, I promised to have a party for her too once I get settled in my new home. I was happy though when my friend Cecila came, because I am shy with new people belive it or not. We caught up, then she was going back to her Jam Session with her music group and she invited me to come so I did. I had a great time and she drug me up to sing a song with them and well I do love to sing but I am not good at it most of the time. They all said I did good and I sang 4 songs with them all together! I told Cecilia about my bike ride and she said she wants to go with me but she hasn't been on a bike in 40 years! Perfect I said cuz I go slow and easy and not far......yet...... We also talked of some of the fun things we did last summer and said we are going to plan some great things this year....just waiting for the weather to warm up a bit......

Singing at the Jam Session

I ended up sending this picture to Randy saying they let me sing at a Jam Session today---that's so nice he said---did you ride a lot today I asked?---sure did it was loads of fun----I am gald you had fun, bet you are heading to the hot tub now---just got out he replied----I wish I had one about now my behind still hurts from the bike....but he had no reply. I am glad we can stay friends, there's a comfort in him that I get from no other...we really are soul mates, friendship soul mates.

I want you to think about the things you want to bring to your life and plant your seeds of intention now......what do you want to grow in your gardens of life this summer and harvest in the fall? You reap what you sow........if you didn't like last years crop try something new.........

With Love and in the Light, Cassie

Night Ranger - Sister Christian

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z92bmlcmyq0

and to celebrate your blooming:

Edvard Grieg - Morgenstimmung

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUKRBeG-sGQ

Sister Christian
Oh the time has come
And you know that you're the only one
To say O.K.
Where you going
What you looking for
You know those boys
Don't want to play no more with you
It's true

You're motoring
What's your price for flight
In finding mister right
You'll be alright tonight

Babe you know
You're growing up so fast
And mama's worrying
That you won't last
To say let's play
Sister Christian
There's so much in life Don't you give it up
Before your time is due
It's true
It's true yeah

Motoring
What's your price for flight
You've got him in your sight
And driving thru the night
Motoring
What's your price for flight
In finding mister right
You'll be alright tonight

Motoring
What's your price for flight
In finding mister right
You'll be alright tonight

Sister Christian
Oh the time has come
And you know that you're the only one
To say O.K.
But you're motoring
You're motoring