9-12-11 All Souls Go to Heaven

9-12-11   All Souls Go to Heaven
 
Friday I worked from home a half day and then I had to take Jeremy to an interview with The Arc, they are supposed to help him get a job. It was promising, one of them even said perhaps he should have trade school and I said yes that's what we want for him! I am feeling very hopeful that we now have some help to get him on a good career path. In the evening I went over to The Starland Ballroom as I wrote to the guy and asked for tickets to his show for Almost Queen, a tribute band. I got the box office and asked for my tickets and was amazed at the HUGE stack he gave me, at least 250! I posted the event and crossed my fingers that I wouldn't get too much of a shit storm from my ex partner who has deemed this venue HER exclusive venue, despite the fact she used MY name to get the free tickets in the first place and got the idea from another big organizer. A couple of our mutual friends warned me she'd be livid and I just said well it was my name she used and for over 6 months I've steered clear but now its time for me to go back, she can learn to share or she can get out of my way!

Saturday I got up and ran errands and got ready for the big picnic on the beach, I had over 75 signed up and was all excited, we know that only about 30% show up who register but still I was hopeful.... till it started raining two hours before the event! I was shocked because usually I have such good weather karma too! I had even tossed a SpiritStone in the parking lot as I drove by the other day for good measure... Needless to say I had people dropping off left and right despite the fact I said I was doing it anyway we could come to my house if need be! By 2pm though the rain stopped and when I went to the beach 30 min later people were there setting up a canopy, the skies were clear and sunny and it was just lovely! We only ended up getting 20 people, and some came and only stayed for 30 min because of the small numbers (you know the perpetual looking types, not willing to stick around and make a new friend or two), but the rest of us had a blast! We took walks, we played horseshoes and badminton, we ate, we built a fire and we did laughter yoga, regular yoga and some improvisational acting lessons! Each person who had a talent or skill teaching it to the rest! I got some photos cassiescalendar facebook group  and video Cassie Cal Ender on facebook  and posted it on my profile. Those few of us who have been coming have been having an awesome time and we want to share the good times!

One of my friends  brought me a gift for my Birthday to the picnic! I was so happy about that, she and I have been hanging out some this summer, we took a little walk together and I mentioned how afraid I was about getting the free concert tickets and she told me that my ex partner was throwing a fit about it and also because she and I were friends now. She said she kept saying I probably talk about her and wouldn't believe that I hadn't , I really hadn't given her a second thought until this ticket thing. I was sad to hear those two stopped being friends over this! I was worried more and wrote to another friend, one who had her share of problems with this same person and she had awesome advice for me, I need to share it so I don't forget it again and maybe you will find it useful someday too:
You have to live your life as if she doesn't exist.  If she talks about you - who cares.  Everything comes back to roost.  People know what she is all about.  If they don't at the moment, they will in time.  Don't talk about her.  Don't try and turn people against her or even tell the truth - then you look bad.  Just pretend like she does not exist.  You have every right to run an event wherever you want.  Who cares how the Starland ballroom got started.  It does not matter.  But every time drama happens, your reputation gets beaten up in the cross-fire and you become known to be as much as a problem or cause as much drama as she does.  Go and be happy in your new home, with your new groups, with new people.   Cut her off.  From your thoughts as well as your emotions.  She simply doesn't matter.  I promise you, you will be better for it.  I couldn't be happier not having her in my life - or any meetup drama.  I've been preaching this for over a year...  DON'T ENGAGE.
I am heeding her advice.....you all should do the same when you encounter difficult persons in your life. But remember this that no matter how a person behaves on this earth, they came from the same place you came from and they will return to the same place you are going, so never forget to honor that soul in them and continue to pray for them.

Sunday was the anniversary of 9/11. We had seen the lights of the twin towers across the bay where we sat on the beach the night before for the picnic and talked a bit about the tragedy 10 years ago. I am sorry that so many are still grieving their families, I would never dishonor or deny their right to grieve but I must confess all the footage on TV of that day, the crashes, the burnign towers, the bodies jumping out of windows and all the proclamations of never Forget disturb me (part I a sure due to the fact that I am an empath but part too because I hate to see people reliving such tragedy again and again). I have my own opinions on how to handle this and posted to facebook my thoughts on 9/11:
Personally I think never forget is the wrong attitude here, as long as we never forget and look at these images over and over we still hurt and the terrorists are winning, that's what they wanted to do, hurt us and pain us and keep us in fear of them--- what we should remember is the happy times we spent with those we lost not the tragic way in which we lost them, and also remember the way we all came out of our homes came together in those days.
The world needs more of that for sure, getting out of our homes and being together! So if 9/11 teaches you any lessons to remember it should be love your neighbor instead of hate him/he for being different, and again know that we all came from the same place and will return there together as well.........these souls who died that day well they just got a chance to go before us.

In the afternoon Jeremy and I went to Sears to find him a birthday gift, the only thing he wanted was an X-box 360 and even used I couldn't afford it. So gift card and 20% off friends and family discount in hand off we went. He ended up finding sneakers he liked and a fleece lined hoodie. I ended up buying a blue ray player that will get my Netfix, it was half price and only $10 more than what I would have to pay for a cable to hook my Netflix to my TV anyway. One they way out we saw Randy's truck there at the service center and I asked Jeremy if we should put some concert tickets on his windshield. If you do he will call you he said. Ok then I won't I don't want him to call me I said, I really gotta let this go.....he decided to not choose me this life time, his chances are all up, I will see him when we go to heaven of that I am sure we are soul mates but his neglectful ways make me too sad.....

Monday I woke up to tons and tons of Birthday wishes on Facebook, all three profiles (my real one, my spiritual in NJ and Cassie Cal Ender) were packed with greetings that came in all day. I was suprised I didn't get more texts though, only two. One from my cousin Brad, who is the closest thing I have to a brother we grew up together, the other one was from....Guess who....Randy. He also sent an e-mail too. I was in a meeting at work when he texted so when we took a bathroom break I asked my co-worker what should you do if a guy you dumped but don't want back texted you Happy Birthday. She said just say thank you and nothing else. That's what I did. My older boy called me which was a real treat since he does so seldom, we had a good talk. He said he is saving money though for his move since he's getting out of the Air Force in the spring and I said that's ok I understand conserving money. I told him how Jeremy wanted an X-box and I couldnt get it and he said heck he can have mine I don't play it anymore. Prayer answered! Oh the little things are so easy! But anyway I ended up getting a candle from my friend Deb and an old shop rite $10 gift card that Jeremy had and thats it but the tons of love from all my freinds now that was the real gift! Each of those friends are a soul I will meet again in Heaven one day......

So as I reflect on my 51st birthday (those odd numbered years are the hardest ones for some reason) I listend again to the song Wendy posted to my profile and I realize that "over the hill" is a great place to be because it's a much easier ride back down..... I did these 50 years of climbing and struggling up this hill of life to learn my lessons and do my work, and oh I know that I am not done yet.....BUT.....because of the hard climb up this path and the lessons and the love and the souls that I have met....its all down hill now in a good sorta way! I am getting closer to home......

My college friend lost her mother this past week, she was a wonderful woman and a friend and second mother to me and my older boy when we lived in Los Angeles, I also shed a few tears over my own mom as this is the first birthday she wasn't hear to send me a present and despite the fact I seldom liked what she got me I sure did miss it this year.......Today I want you to look at each of the people you know and be greatful for them, love them, apreciate them and apreciate this life. Someday your soul will make its trip home too.........

With Love and in the Light, Cassie

James Taylor - Secret O' Life (With lyrics)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhekXBbOo_Q&feature=related