"Through love all pain will turn to medicine." Rumi
5-23-11 Lending a Hand
Saturday I got up, loaded a bit more stuff in the little pack rat and more in my car and headed off to the new house. I had been so excited that I couldn't sleep past 6am so when I got on the road at 9 I was already tired. LOL No one came down to help me today because I posted that I didn't need them. A couple people did call and made plans to come down on Wednesday to help unload the little pack rat. With everyone out from underfoot I did plenty of unpacking and laundry and dishes etc. I did get tired in the afternoon and laid down for an hour nap on my bed in my new bedroom. Then just after 6pm (the predicted "rapture" time) Randy called and said he just got off work and did I need anything from Home Depot as he had to go there and maybe we could go together. I said sure but come see the new house first. He did and he really liked it, I can't believe we are neighbors now he said, me either I said. We talked a lot about how he's been working on his house and fixing it up. We talked a bit about his family too, it came up because he had mentioned possibly moving up to Vermont or New Hampshire and I asked would they be going and he said no, that soon as the kids move out its over with her.....he started to go down the she don't care what I do route but I cut him off and said sorry but I am NOT doing what I did last summer, it just hurt way too much, you don't know and I am not doing it again. He said again he wished she'd leave, maybe she will find a text or something and go so he don't have to make her leave. I said I don't want to talk about this and can you please fix this shelf for me and he did. After that we went to Home Depot and had fun going up and down the aisles helping each other find the things we needed, looking at paint for my patio furniture, talking about our home projects. On the way out I said good night and don't forget to come over tomorrow after work to help me hook up my TV, sure he said, and again I can't believe we are neighbors. Are you glad I asked? Sure am he said, me too I said back..........
On the way home Jeremy's roommate texted me and asked if they could come down with me the next day, I said that they'd have to stay over night as I was sleeping there and I have no cable, he said that's not a problem. I said and I have a lot of stuff to take not sure I have the room lets play it by ear, and in the morning by the time I loaded my TV, computer, microwave etc I really didn't have any room so I texted him that I had no room and I would bring them down on Tuesday when I came up to get the little pack rat loaded up and he said OK. Course later in the day Jeremy texted and was all mad that I didn't get them and that they had counted on it, I told him he should have called. I asked was he going to be around Tuesday and he said snottily that he'd play it by ear. Little brat! I was glad though that I had no room for them, and also glad that my friend cancelled who was going to come down and that the other one never called because I really did want to spend some time with Randy when he came over to hook up my TV's..... I spent the day unpacking and ran out to get milk and stuff for in the morning. Randy texted me about 3 and asked did I want to get some food about 6 or 7pm (his way of asking did I want to go out to dinner) Haha. I told him if he wanted to I would but I had planned on running out for something while he was hooking up the TVs and eating here. Even better he said!
So in the evening he came right after work and helped me with a few things and since the cable wasn't on yet I put a movie in the DVD player in my room for him to watch while I ran out to get dinner. When I got back he was laying there covered up all relaxed so I got a towel and set up a picnic in bed like we used to do back when we were dating. It wasn't as roomy as his king sized one but it was still fun, like old times minus the boy-friend/girl-friend physical intimacy. We ate and we talked and we both said how this was more fun and cheaper than going to a restaurant. I told him if he wants, and I am not at an event, he can come over every Sunday and once I have my cable we can watch Simpsons and Family Guy like we always used to do. I sure will he said! He stayed till 10 till I finally kicked him out and we talked and talked about his relationship and I told him again if he wants me then he has to talk to her first and get this all settled with her. I can see why it worked then, the timing for us wasn't right and I wasn't ready either, that was brutally apparent to me when he reminded me of the things I said, how I said I was too old for him, naybe he wanted to have a baby, what he needed was a woman who rode the motorcycle, etc etc I told him that I just wanted him to be happy and he said well I went out and I got all those things that you said I needed to be happy and thing is I am not happy. Yeah I wasn't either I said, but at least in these years I have grown, and I didn't love myself enough to believe that anyone else could love me. And you had to learn a few things too I said. I went to bed after he left and felt content watching my movie and going to sleep in my new home for the first time...then about 11 I got a text....I had fun tonight he said......me too I said....and we texted back and forth till I was sleepy.....
Today I got up and spent the entire day working and unpacking and such. I did go out to the dollar store to get a few Memorial Day decorations and some guy pulled up and was selling meat off the back of his truck. I got a bunch of steaks and such for less than half if I got them elsewhere, I do want to start cooking more I said and please come back if you get some seafood deals. Oh and turns out the guy is a stand up comic so he is going to post his gigs on CassiesCalendar too. Later in the day I called my son to see if he was going to be around Tuesday to help me finish up loading the little pack rat and he said maybe. Ugh Well can you at least sell off the rest of that stuff if I post it on Craigslist? Yes he said and can you look into renting a backhoe and I will get the rest of that metal and stuff out of the barn. Then I went and tried to put in new light bulbs in my outdoor flood light, that didn't work at all, I was frustrated and wishing Jeremy was there right then and then I thought of Randy.......hummm I wonder if he will help?? So I texted him and said: Can you come over sometime and help me put the light bulbs in my floodlight outside? Sure he replied maybe tonight after work.... I thought about saying good but text me if you can't make it, thinking I would hate to sit there wondering, but then decided to go with: awesome I will be here either way....that was easier, and it was true. Yep I could get used to that black truck of his pulling up in front of my house.... I guess we are once again tentatively reaching out for one another, past the pain, the hurt, the misunderstandings. After the growth and the paths that have been apart from one another now our paths are close enough that we can reach out and get acquainted again, this time taking our time and enjoying the journey...
Today I want you to think about the relationships of your past, did you rush in and get too close too fast? Have you taken the time to really "court" and spend time, the kind of time where if you end up even just holding hands that's a thrill? Try it, even if you are already married try dating the old fashioned way...... get to know each other all over again.......reach across and take some one's hand today......
With Love and In the Light, Cassie
Reach Out and Touch Somebody's Hand - Diana Ross
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-7qCG2_aaA
On the way home Jeremy's roommate texted me and asked if they could come down with me the next day, I said that they'd have to stay over night as I was sleeping there and I have no cable, he said that's not a problem. I said and I have a lot of stuff to take not sure I have the room lets play it by ear, and in the morning by the time I loaded my TV, computer, microwave etc I really didn't have any room so I texted him that I had no room and I would bring them down on Tuesday when I came up to get the little pack rat loaded up and he said OK. Course later in the day Jeremy texted and was all mad that I didn't get them and that they had counted on it, I told him he should have called. I asked was he going to be around Tuesday and he said snottily that he'd play it by ear. Little brat! I was glad though that I had no room for them, and also glad that my friend cancelled who was going to come down and that the other one never called because I really did want to spend some time with Randy when he came over to hook up my TV's..... I spent the day unpacking and ran out to get milk and stuff for in the morning. Randy texted me about 3 and asked did I want to get some food about 6 or 7pm (his way of asking did I want to go out to dinner) Haha. I told him if he wanted to I would but I had planned on running out for something while he was hooking up the TVs and eating here. Even better he said!
So in the evening he came right after work and helped me with a few things and since the cable wasn't on yet I put a movie in the DVD player in my room for him to watch while I ran out to get dinner. When I got back he was laying there covered up all relaxed so I got a towel and set up a picnic in bed like we used to do back when we were dating. It wasn't as roomy as his king sized one but it was still fun, like old times minus the boy-friend/girl-friend physical intimacy. We ate and we talked and we both said how this was more fun and cheaper than going to a restaurant. I told him if he wants, and I am not at an event, he can come over every Sunday and once I have my cable we can watch Simpsons and Family Guy like we always used to do. I sure will he said! He stayed till 10 till I finally kicked him out and we talked and talked about his relationship and I told him again if he wants me then he has to talk to her first and get this all settled with her. I can see why it worked then, the timing for us wasn't right and I wasn't ready either, that was brutally apparent to me when he reminded me of the things I said, how I said I was too old for him, naybe he wanted to have a baby, what he needed was a woman who rode the motorcycle, etc etc I told him that I just wanted him to be happy and he said well I went out and I got all those things that you said I needed to be happy and thing is I am not happy. Yeah I wasn't either I said, but at least in these years I have grown, and I didn't love myself enough to believe that anyone else could love me. And you had to learn a few things too I said. I went to bed after he left and felt content watching my movie and going to sleep in my new home for the first time...then about 11 I got a text....I had fun tonight he said......me too I said....and we texted back and forth till I was sleepy.....
Today I got up and spent the entire day working and unpacking and such. I did go out to the dollar store to get a few Memorial Day decorations and some guy pulled up and was selling meat off the back of his truck. I got a bunch of steaks and such for less than half if I got them elsewhere, I do want to start cooking more I said and please come back if you get some seafood deals. Oh and turns out the guy is a stand up comic so he is going to post his gigs on CassiesCalendar too. Later in the day I called my son to see if he was going to be around Tuesday to help me finish up loading the little pack rat and he said maybe. Ugh Well can you at least sell off the rest of that stuff if I post it on Craigslist? Yes he said and can you look into renting a backhoe and I will get the rest of that metal and stuff out of the barn. Then I went and tried to put in new light bulbs in my outdoor flood light, that didn't work at all, I was frustrated and wishing Jeremy was there right then and then I thought of Randy.......hummm I wonder if he will help?? So I texted him and said: Can you come over sometime and help me put the light bulbs in my floodlight outside? Sure he replied maybe tonight after work.... I thought about saying good but text me if you can't make it, thinking I would hate to sit there wondering, but then decided to go with: awesome I will be here either way....that was easier, and it was true. Yep I could get used to that black truck of his pulling up in front of my house.... I guess we are once again tentatively reaching out for one another, past the pain, the hurt, the misunderstandings. After the growth and the paths that have been apart from one another now our paths are close enough that we can reach out and get acquainted again, this time taking our time and enjoying the journey...
Today I want you to think about the relationships of your past, did you rush in and get too close too fast? Have you taken the time to really "court" and spend time, the kind of time where if you end up even just holding hands that's a thrill? Try it, even if you are already married try dating the old fashioned way...... get to know each other all over again.......reach across and take some one's hand today......
With Love and In the Light, Cassie
Reach Out and Touch Somebody's Hand - Diana Ross
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-7qCG2_aaA
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