7-11-11 Accepting Imperfection
The weekend was all abut accepting less than perfection...
Friday night was girls night at my friends house, we had a wonderful time together eating and drinking and talking about all sorts of things all comfortable and cozy. I am for sure going to have to do one of these soon, I am just going to have to skip the sleep over part unless they can put up with Shawn and Jeremy snoring in the basement! LOL Randy was texting me back and forth and at one point called so I talked to him for a few. Course that got all of them (the ones who read my blog and know all that is going on) to nag me gently about how unhealthy this relationship is for me. I know I know I told them but I AM dating others I am open to finding a man who loves me and well honestly I don't think its my time yet, I think I probably have to learn something here from this also and I am 50 and I am tired of not having a good steady sexual relationship in my life. He only wants to give that to me but it's soooo good why not? I am only hurt when I want it to be more that he offers. So they said ok but they loved me and wanted to see me happy, I said I want to see me happy too and I trust in God to bring me a man who is right for me but in the meantime he at least brings me companionship. When I got home I saw Randy had sent me an e-mail reply to the it's a shame you spent all your money on them and cant take me to VT in August and he said MAYBE I can take you, I replied that I no longer want to go, that I will wait till I can pay my share. Mary said that I keep trying to teach him correct behavior but all he sees it as me backing off. Oh well again I am tired of it-- I give so much in a relationship I am going to find a man who gives to me equally end of story.
Saturday I got a reading from my friend Ray at true path readings he told me lots of things good and bad but that basically in the end I would prevail. He cautioned me on my son and what he has to face, he said a man is going to come bring me money, we think perhaps Mary is right and that an investor will buy it, he also said that a great change was coming in Randy and he was going to be a whole new person. This too is something I always felt, that he is my twin flame but his hard life and his bad choices brought him down the wrong way and he has to fix this first , just like my life brought me down a wrong turn or two and I had to make changes in my direction and who I am. Nothing's set in stone but possibilites are there... He said that Randy is going to be going through some big battles in his life the next few months though and I need to be there to support him through them, and I shall. No matter what I love him and if he needs me I will be there for him. In the early afternoon Shawn and I went to get a desk I bought off Craigslist that is smaller and fits in the corner better, the small living room of mine just couldnt fit the big one so I'd rather get a smaller desk than a bigger house. When we got home I had a letter from the EPA, they said they got a report that there was a possible oil spill on my property! They wanted $400 for filing the claim and I had to have the tank removed and inspections done. Those rotten township people! How awful of them after all the torture they put me through with promises of buying it! They want everyting perfect for them despite the AS IS that was on the contract. I worte to my lawyer and told him to inform them that I contacted my bank and told them I vacated the property and that on Monday I am telling them they can have it back and all deals to sell to the township are off and I am going to look into bankruptcy. They are such jerks! But God is my scource not them! I took a very long nap that afternoon and rested and my friends came down and we went out to enjoy the shore nightlife. I am not going to let trouble ruin my life and make me sit and sulk.
Sunday I had plans to go to the beach with one of my friends and another one called me and wanted to tag along. We wanted t go to Sandy Hook but it again closed before got there and we went to Union Beach iinstead, my friends though said they ended up liking it better also, less crowds' not so far to walk, etc. But anyway about the friend who called to tag along....This is a friend whom I have had issues with in the past and hadn't been speaking to him for awhile, sometimes when people drive you nuts you need to seperate yourself from them so as not to have any more sparks, but he had been one of the people who had come to see me the night before and we went out and he had apologized for his bad behavior and I accepted it. He asked me why I had been ready now to forgive him and I said well I am much happier now, not stressed,, loving my life. When you did what you did to me I was under so much stress, things not going well , that was just so hurtful and well I couldnt deal with anymore at that time in my life so I decided to get as far from you as I could. He hung his head and apoligized again. Now for the most part this guy has some good qualities, he also has some annoying ones to that are never going to change most likely. But I am wiilling to accept him with his imperfections for the value he does bring to my life. I sent a pic of us to a mutual friend or ours, one I was trying to reconciile them but he was so angry and said that's fine if I want to hang with him but he doesnt want to know about it and not to cry to him when he acts like a jerk again. LOL I am willing to see what happens, I think my new attitude is much more forgiving and tolerant so we will see, so long as I don't expect more from him I think we will be fine... It brings to mind the story of the cracked pots, I know I have posted this before but it bears repeating....see below
Today I want you to consider when you can accept that which is less than perfect and see what other blessings that may bring you..........
With Love and in the Light, Cassie
Cracked Pots
~~ Arthur Unknown ~~
| A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master's house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you." "Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said. The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path." Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure. The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house." MORAL: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them. There is a lot of good out there. There is a lot of good in us! Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape. Remember to appreciate all the different people in your life! Or as I like to think of it-if it hadn't been for the crackpots in my life, it would have been pretty boring and not so interesting.... |
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