7-18-11 Building Sandcastles and Dreams

7-18-11  Building Sandcastles and Dreams

The weekend was all about building sandcastles and dreams....

Friday evening was our bonfire on the beach and it was amazingly lovely and pleasant. The weather was perfect, the wind was down and there were other people also enjoying the beach too. We all brought food to share, some brought a game and played it, we wished someone had a guitar and we said we would be sure to post that next time. I think the only downfall was the sand Rich got on my hot dog, kind grainy going down! lol The evening grew dark...the full moon rose, conversations were pleasant....we watched the Coney Island fireworks in the distance and made plans to come back every friday that we could..... And then the cops came, they told us that beach fires were not allowed and that everyone has to be off the beach by sunset. I was so dissapointed...and all I could think of was what Ray from True Path readings said about me doing events and that some may be out to get me or sabotage my plans - secretly. I never should have posted those lovely beach bonfire pictures to facebook from my phone and checked in on 4-square, maybe someone who doesn't like my success called.... Randy had said they don't care if we have fires and I have seen evidence of other fires many a morning.....I prayed for God to show me what to do on this, we had so enjoyed the evening it would be a shame if there could be no more....

Saturday morning I got up and headed down to Sandy Hook for my bike event, no one showed but me but I didn't mind, I was a bit nervous about having even scheduled a biking event anyway when the last time I timed myself I only rode 20  min tops! I have been riding around my home though.... So off I headed on the bike path and enjoyed the ride and thought about Randy and how we used to ride there when he was my boyfriend as I loaded my bike back into the car I was wishing really hard that we could both have a day off together and go to Gunnison beach and go biking and all that stuff together.... I headed off to Sears for an oil change and he texted and said Hey I am off tommorow want to go to Vermont! Well after much going back and forth and he finally called we decided a two day Vermont trip was not a good idea finacially but he would try and get away from home the next day so we could go to The Hook. I headed off then to a BBQ at a long lost friends house who now lives just 10 min away! She is the reason I got into doing event in the first place as she used to plan them back in the Yahoo group days, her handle was AllYourDreammsComeTruue.... so I went up to see her for a couple hours and we planned to get together agian soon.  I went home and when Randy got off work he came over and spent a few delicious hours with me, we did some talking about his future and his investment ideas and what would be the best thing, he wants to stay on evenings at UPS instead of go on days and I told him well IF you were my boyfriend I probably would like coming home from work and having some time to do things I need to do, its not till 9 that I wind down and get lonely and wish you were here anyway.... All in all a good evening......then he got a text that the kid got a part for the car and needed help, then when he didn't go home he got one that he needed to walk the dog....gotta go he said but confided before he left that "she" often doesn't come home on saturday nights..... I'll scope out things at home and text you later to let you know if we can go to the hook tommorw and gave me a big big hug. I am sorry but I love him, and no matter what I do to convince myself otherwise I just do. He annoys me in so many ways but the love never goes away, and like anything else you just can't get over, the only thing to do is get through it....God help me.....just before midnight he texted me....I can go!

Sunday morning I woke up and started getting ready, still worrying if he would still go..but just before 9am I got a text.. I'm up!....ok well get ready and get over here I sent back! I shot off a quick e-mail to Mike asking him to set me up for a search for cheap or distressed properties in the area, I know Randy thinks he can't afford anything down here but I know he's wrong and I think it would be better to buy here first then expand to Vermont later, that heating bill scares me....and that is what we talked about as we drove down to The Hook. When he came to pick me up and I climbed into his big truck I remembered our very first date and how nice it was to have a guy pick me up at my door, we headed to get breakfast on the way down and I said to him can you do me a favor, just for today, and today only can you be my boyfreind and we don't need to think of anyone or anything beyond today? Sure he said I be your boyfriend EVERY day..no we think only today that's it I said today is good enough. We drove the rest of the way to the hook holding hands but it was closed when we got there. He being the Libra that he is poked around and he hadn't arrived till 9:45 because he was trying to find his bicycle, then he stubbed his toe on crap the kids left out and then the dog got out... Next time get your behind over here early I said! So we went to Union Beach instead and drove past the condos by Jake-a-Bobs and I said someday I want to buy one of these..... As we lay in the sand and went in the water we talked and we talked about his future and how he wanted to lay it out and I told him again maybe he better buy an income house in NJ first, then I casually said heck you ought to offer me something really low on my house and see if we can get the bank to take it! He crooked an eyebrow and thought about that one for a bit, and how much he could get for rental and liked the idea more and more and more.... He said wow the solution might be staring us in the face right here. Well I don't want to push it, you look into it and whatever offer you come up with I will make it to the bank I told him, I got nothing to loose now....

We layed there some more but after a few hours I was bored, even with the conversation we had because well I am just the do something type never was a just lay around type and I mentioned that to him. I had already went for a walk and gathered shells, and when he was laying out on his boogie board and no waves came I pulled him (he and I always play like kids), and we had discussed the merits of renting a Harley for the weekend. He said I know! next time we can build sand castles! You know I kinda liked that idea.... But soon enough I convinced him to go home to play so we went back took showers and played till we both fell asleep for a lovely nap together......then we were woken my the smell of Shawn cooking dinner out in the kitchen, So I went out and came back with two big bowls for us and fresh peaches and we ate in bed and then watched movies and got out the lap top and looked at investment homes for sale both in NJ and Vermont. I asked him did he think his "kids" would come up to visit there and he said flatly no, as a matter of fact the older boy moved out a few days ago. OMG I thought I prayed for that and it happend! My second thought was oh I hope he's not unhappy....he wasn't though he was sorta neutral on that, but he thinks the kid will be back as he left before and came back, (and so has my kid). We also talked about my kid some and I said I wish he'd take him snowmobiling this year and he said sure I will if he can come up with the money....(yeah stingy is in this mans veins he will never give to us, not a penny he even made me pay for my $4 Burger King breakfast that day). It's time for me to get over this already, it is afterall his loss for not sharing, so many blessings he'd have if he did.... As we ate I also noticed how he dropped food in the bed and recalled how messy he was and how much work he was and I even commented you know I think its good that she has to live with you and I just get to play with you! It was getting late, and I commented on how he'd been here so much this weeking it was starting to feel like he lived here......and he said yeah....I hate going back to my house after being over here....

Right now I don't care what tommorow brings I am just having fun playing and building my sandcastle dreams and sitting back to see which ones the tides of time wash away, and which one's are sturdy enough to last......Monday morning I headed to the office and ran into traffic, instead of sweating it I just popped in my CD of The_Secret, I had read the book, seen the movie too, but wanted to listen again to the teachings. I called Rich too and told him I had an idea of a new place to do a beach bonfire and that we should create a secret group and only invite really super nice people to it......and do it like a rave, switch locations, top secret by invite only.........the really special things should be protected....

Today I want you to get out and play like a kid, enjoy your life, dream some dreams, build some sand castles of your own.....you never know what you can manifest if you dare to dream.................


With Love and In the Light, Cassie

Lose yourself, lose yourself in this love.
When you lose yourself in this love,
you will find everything.
Rumi

The Soulmate Experience

Wisdom from a fan, Micelle Richards Dills: "Sometimes things don't turn out to be exactly what we want them to be, but when we can see past our trivial expectations, often we find that it's more than we could have ever hoped for! In releasing your expectations and adjusting your perceptions you can find a happiness you might not have otherwise known existed."

Timothy Johnson

BELIEVE , if its true love, theres no ending time, no spaces to confine, if love is real, just rest your mind, hearts see just fine, if we are one, our hearts will beat, as one you and me, if its true love, forever you will see, in us love believes.........THE OUTLAW POET